Monday, May 10, 2010

Sex In The City 2 - REVIEW and SPOILER

Sex in the city 2 a review w. Spoiler!!

Do not read if you are one of those people who hate people who tell movies, because I am giving it all away soup to nuts!

I mean it..

You are going to read about everything!!!









Today I saw the matinee of the highly anticipated Sex In The City 2 movie.

It was a grave disappointment.

There are some things that are classic and should not be touched. But as always, this new generation of idiots takes all our old stuff and tries to make it theirs. The opening credit song was not the nostalgic little diddy we grew up on. It was a reworked nonsense that faded into the hair tearing Alicia Keyes screaming New Yoooooooooork!!

From that point on the entire movie was just so, and I mean soooo dated...

Flashback to how the girls met, with a quick 80's montage of the women. 4 bad hair styles, and madonna wanna be outfits later there are at Bergdorf Goodmans where surprise, surprise Standford and Anthony are getting married.

Samantha has an office in times square and is following the suzanne sommers life plan.

Miranda has created her own little family with magda,steve and brady.

Charlotte has settled in being a jew and is raising her family with a bra-less nanny.

And Carrie has become a spoiled rich bitch.

Insert stereotypical cliche about all gay men being so desperate they want anyone and anything.

The wedding is amazingly cute, with lyzza minneli performing as officiant as well as pop performer. She does a rousing "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" with 2 lookalikes.

She is a legend, I give her that much respect, but watching her perform is as painful as watching Dick Clark do New Year's Rockin Eve post stroke...

At the wedding, apparently BIG or as he is now called JOHN JAMES PRESTON and Mrs. Preston are seated next to the only republicans at the gay wedding. Who profess adoration for her as a writer but frown upon her and big for not wanting to have children. Insert awkward moment.
Samantha bangs anthony's incredibly gorgeous brother.
Charlottes daughter is a brat.
Braless nanny bounces with girls get husband's attention.

After 2 yrs carrie wants to go out every night while john wants the couch and a tv remote. She forces him to go and gets pissed when he's chatty with penelope cruz. She then ops for a 2 day break at her old apt. Which she still keeps. Big gives her space. When she gets back he asks if she would mind doing it regularly and she freaks out and is upset.

Smith jared takes samantha and the girls to his ny movie premiere and samantha and miley cyrus wear the same dress. (Again dating the film, miley cyrus has not been really big for a ny minute now)

Samantha is offered an all expense paid trip to abu dhabi to discuss the prospects of representing a hotel franchise there.
The girls go, miranda quits her job because the new sr partner is an asshole, and decides to just live. Charlotte has reservations because of the "judelaw".

Marriages have rules and as Carrie's new book "I do? do I? Is being released.she's crticed in the new yorker as being irrelevant. Samantha and the girls enjoy themselves. Then they do karaoke with this song I am sure means something somewhere but not in this film. I am woman. Supposedly everyone gets into it as if jayz hit the dance floor but I don't buy it. Fine and I mean

FOINE!!! Danish businessman Rick-hard Spurt...(u know the joke.) Smitten with samantha he makes a bid for her in front of the girls. She brushes him off until the next day because it is "girls night out"

Carrie commends her for not ditching them. (Remember I said this)

Insert shopping trip and aidan. Carrie carelessly leaves passport.

Coincidently she runs into aidan at abu dhabi.

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