O wait! How about the cutie flat shoes! I mean, who wouldn't LOVE to feel barefoot for 10 miles! By the time you make it to the balloon arch finish line, your feet swell to Fred Flintstone size!
What if you can't decide on the sandals? I mean Old Navy sells them for $5 now! Maybe you can switch every few miles, to make a stylish fashion statement.
Shout out to the idiots we saw limping in on the home stretch in brand new sneakers, and no socks.
To all you kind-hearted dummies who came out for a great cause yesterday.
Thank you, for doing your part to eradicate a disease that should have never existed, and
I hope you all enjoyed a Motrin sandwich last night.