Monday, January 02, 2006

Mental Pep Talks

I made my postcard for postsecret and I will send it out tomorrow.

So I watched a chic flick - or what I would have hoped was going to be a "good chic flick". I was in that mood. The mood of needing to be surrounded by girlfriends, talking smack and playing the "come-on-home-for-a-little-while" game. I was with Ria all day today - but after she left is when I needed her most. The rain gave my already dampening spirits a torrential downpour. I am grateful it's not as bad this month as it could be.

I have to make good on my resolution - 1 date a week.

I am sitting here thinking about my upcoming dates and all the potential men that have suddenly dropped into my lap and having been playing Hiroshima on my cellphone for the last 3 days. WHY OH WHY do I think of a good FAKE number to give AFTER I hand them the piece of paper?!?!?!

I wish I knew.

I am playing a new game this year. The I AM NOT AFRAID GAME. The game that has a
"charity case clause" under the pretense of being social. So that means the standards have been lowered slightly just to entertain the masses in keeping me up on drills. So, if your not my type you have a shot because I am trying to build a better mouse trap - I need the practice.

I only look at riding the the big animals at this farm - I don't dare look at the lamas, camels or ponies.. because I want to ride the bull!!! The bull bucks you off, though. We know this. So you decide to ride something else or try again. I think I want to try again. I want to try again as much as I want to dart my eyes towards the closet and see my tight jeans hanging there. I know the ritual. Jump-up-and-down, lay on the bed, boy laughs at me hysterically - get asthma machine. But there everything is. The spotlight is on my clown vanity and all the pieces of my costume are there.

I have to play - if I don't play I will be left behind. I have been behind for soo long I have decided I want to try and speed up to make it to the front somehow. No more lonely - he can't live here. I have to go out there and do me!

As much as I hate my clown make up - the ends will justify the means-

Now I have to go out there and take one for the team.

2 comments:

Genna said...

I am cheering you on from the desert! Live the life you can dream, honey.

HUGS.

JD said...

you bring your resolution list and I'll bring mine and we'll drink to each one of them...