Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Twas the Night Before Xmas...

Twas the night before Xmas and all through My house,
not a creature was stirring,
(The exterminator took care of the mouse).
The boys spongebob stocking was hung on a hanger with care
With his hopes that if Santa was real, he'd really show here.

The boy nestled - in his captains bed,
With visions of gum skittles dancing in his head.
Me in my doo rag because I forgot to buy some tight caps
I need something to help me keep down the naps.

When out in the hallway there arose such a clatter,
I jumped up from the sofa to see what was the matter.
Straight for my box cutter I went like a flash,
in case someone out there was looking to get slashed.

The flourescent light on the ceiling shone
giving away scratches on the scuffy wax floors below.
When what to my only good eye should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight roach riendeer.

With a little grey driver, so mousy and quick,
I blinked in astonishment it was a Mousy St. Nick.
More rapid then eagles his language proclaimed,
as he whistled and squealed and called them by name:

"Now Daekwon! Now Donique!
Now Tashana and Choo-CHoo!
On Maria!, On Esperanza!
On Ron-ron and Joonjoon!
To the top of the staircase!
To the top of the wall!
The lights are on scatter, scatter you all!

As if someone screamed RAID! They mounted the sky!
No cops were after them but they ran like 5-0 said "HI!".
As if guns were pointed and someone said Shoot!
With a sleigh full of God Knows and St. Nicholas to boot!

And then, in a twinkling I heard at my door
The scratching and nawing of a mousy little paw,
As I stepped back in horror and drew my head down
In came Santa Mouse, as if he owned this town.

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot,
And his whiskers were all sticky with peanut butter like soot.
A bundle of toys his gaze was focused at, and he looked like a peddler
from the #6 track.

His eyes were all pearly! His heart was so merry!
One of those toys had the scent of cherry!
His rodent little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
nevermind that I was screaming oh NO NO NO!
God knows the power he held in his teeth
as he looked at my ornament xmas wreaths.
He was a little fat for a mouse of these parts,
I was slow but I finally got my start..

He was dirty and plump for a creature like him
IN the battle for this territory I would win.
With a throw of a shoe that would make grandma proud
I showed him my style of Chancleta-Fu while screaming real loud.

He squealed not a sound and turned to me slow,
Just like the Matrix up in the air he would go.
Thinking that "I", would back off at least,
and let him go back - to the boys candy feast.

With a narrow of my eyes I made him spring back and away,
Back to the hole I would seal come the light of day.
BUt as he ran out of my good eye's sight,
he said under the harsh hallway light:

"You put up a good fight -
Merry Xmas to you too b*tch, and to all a good night"

2 comments:

Genna said...

Merry Christmas, Honey!! You are so FUNNY!! :) A little dose of your blog is just what the doctor ordered.

((HUGS))

BTExpress said...

LMAO!! Now that's funny. Merry Christmas