Tuesday, March 29, 2011

There but for the Grace of...

I am vehicularly challenged. Kitt is still out of commission. It breaks my heart. I visit him everyday, but he needs a Dr. that I cannot afford until next paycheck. I walked. I am not the gluttonness "can't walk a block" Nyer. I am the "walk a mission" walker. I walk Miles. Usually 5 at a time. My robocop calves can attest to that. I had to pick up the boy today as I have been doing everyday since Kitt has been sick - on foot. Walking along side the perimeter of the park I stepped on every acorn in my path. Letting all the yellow nutty goodness out. Doing the best I can for any elderly squirrels who may be ready to lose his teeth.

Gosh, I am a good samaritan.

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I like to watch people. The ones who think no one's watching and go for that dry booger in their nose. The ones who's pants bunch between their thighs and they do that funny walk/switch to loosen it. The shameless ones who just pull it out. Of course, the farters. They let it out thinking no one is in ear shot, but then they don't realize how loud a moose horn it is. Then they play "who done it"?

My favorite are the couples. The ones who walked with interlocked fingers. Arms crossed around waists. The mixed race couples that even though your a NYer and have seen it before, give you that 30 second delay. The couples you wonder WTF??? How did superstar Barbie wind up with Bob Marley???

I like to make them a tapestry in my mind, stitch by stitch. I wonder how they met. What was their first date like? If they "did it" yet, and if so how was it? Sometimes I wish they could pass me an answer sheet to see how close I am to their mark. They always look so happy. Like someone screamed "ACTION" on the "Happy Play", and they knew I was coming. They make me a little envious. Literally walking the path least traveled and smashing acorns. I think about their happiness and wish they would let me hold it. Like a cute baby. Just for a minute.

If the eyes are the window to the soul. I purposely have Big FAT DARK drapes on mine. The kind that let out a big breeze of dust particles in the streak of sunlight when you move them. I don't want anyone to see passed the sun's glare of their own reflection in my brown eyes. I don't want people seeing my naked, (sometimes dark), soul. No one can see that sometimes I can be evil.

Sometimes I envy.

I see what they have and I want it. I want it so much I secretly wish it was me. I assume their happy in everything. Because for a moment in time I have them thanking the academy when no one has nominated them yet. They fooled a real critic - they fooled me.

But not everybody is happy. We are all actors that way. We know that when we step out in the world we have to put on our game face. When we step out the door - ACTION!

Just because you see a couple with their game face on - doesn't make them happy. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't live with them. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. The vicious fights, the lies, the cheating, the beatings. Not every relationship is like that. YES! There is such a thing as happily ever after. There are real happy couples out there.

But maybe, all the single men and women who find themselves lonely and longing are single for a reason. Their stop on the bus hasn't come yet. They are being forced to hold out for the good one even though sometimes they would rather not.

We don't know the real deal on the people we wish we had. Whether we like it or not -we are all being forced to be careful what we wish for.

5 comments:

Carla said...

I LOVE people watching also!! I am amazed by what people do while driving in their car. They must forget that the tinted windows are not that dark! Shouldn't they have learned that nostrils are not finger holes when they were in third grade! Gross!

I also love watching old people together. They prove there is actually hope in the world for those of us who have not found their soul mate....

The Daily Rant said...

As usual, I love your writing. You write what people think. I love people watching too. Ed doesn't seem to enjoy it in the same manner I do. I like to think about what their lives are like too. I make up things about them and try to figure them out by just watching them. I enjoy your writing sooooo much. Also, love the Barbie/Bob Marley thing. Classic!

Hope Kitt is better soon. If I were in NYC, I'd make Ed swing buy to take you to work....and then out to lunch!!

Ciao!

Anocsanamun said...

S, I love you more than you know.
xoxo
Irene

He's on the BUS, Jim! said...

Great, evocative post, as usual.

I do that, too. In restaurants, wonder how that couple met. How he proposed to her... In Manhattan, you see some older couples walking down the street. Each has a cane and they hold on to one another for additional support. What have they gone through together?

You know, perhaps we are at the wrong bus stop? Or perhaps we ought to be looking for a Rolls Royce?
Namaste.
~HDJ/Claudette

Ulathorne said...

yes....i do think twice before making a wish.....

great narrative....love your ability to describe exactly what you have seen....

you seem like a powerful woman....yes, soft....

i think i will go step on acorns today......